A Message to the Worst Man on Earth

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Which means in "alien talk": "Would you die please, Fidel Castro?" Not to harm you, if you are Fidel Castro reading this message.

"While we're in the spaceship," the alien said, "can we go down into the Earth and betray these loving earthlings?"

The earthlings said, "Why don't we go down to Earth and go to A & W and get a hamburger - a human hamburger made out of people's skin - what we mean is, we want a Fidel Castro skinned hamburger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Fidel Castro is the worst man on the entirely, incredibly, extremely, indubitably, betrayable worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrllllld!!!!!!!!!!

The real story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! false!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fidel Castro is taking a walk through landbombs, which we all call "stinkbombs", and we're all right because he's a real stinker. He really needs to get out of his mind, which doesn't make sense because he doesn't make sense. He's a bummerly-like man. He wears a tutu when he goes to work - of course, when ballet classes are going on. He is a bummer, stinker, stupid, poo, poody-hoo rugrat that plays curling. He says, "Harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," but we all know he's a gaylord and a gangster and a hobo and a hippie, but we really know he's a butler. I'm really looking in your eyes, Fidel Castro, if you're reading this message. You're a butlerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. You're a stinky, pinky, linky peany-weany, soggy, old, molded piece of steak.

I am a real hottie that girls go after me. You say, "Come here, baby," and they just say, "So long, stinker!" He said, "Ooh, baby, come over here." She said, "Shut your mouth, turkey, and your winky is a gold key, like Goldmember!"

Fidel Castro should get his pants pulled down by a poophead. It's his friend. He said, "Don't you think you could be turned into anything worse?" Fidel Castro said, "Uh, uh, diarrhea, which I mean, you shall be diarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I forget what I was going to say, oh yeah, I was just going to tell you, you're a poophead. Um, what was I going to say again, oh yeah, um, oh, ummmmm, oh, what was I going to say again, I forgeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttt. You really are a poop, pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop, pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop, butler, bummer and all the other pottymouths in the world, even in different languages, like Poopies means "Let's have a snack" in Hawaiian, let's have a Fidel Castro poop snack." You know, Fidel Castro, you really are the grossest man on Earth, and I really want to say bye bye to you, if you know what I mean, which means "Kill!" Bye bye.